Currently enjoying a free mission with the Green Lantern Corps. The details are highly confidential. I can disclose that the nature of the mission is pleasant on the ideals of chill. Snerk.

Today's gift of time was accidental. Couple weeks back a laser surgery was scheduled. Rockin Doc Cohen encountered some resistance. Emergencies on his side prevented the glaucoma prevention measures of mine to be seen through. Bummer. Ah well me lads and ladies, tis not me way to be shutting down the opportunities of slack now, no no no. Rescheduled the focused light drilling for next week, kicked back and rizzy-laxed.

I have been promoted. Soon, a squadron will roam the daylit streets of Manhattan, led by me. Mental painting of me stoking a furry pussy cat is necessary. First step in my plan to rule the world, mwua-au-ahahahaaa. Spanky's warriors will command attention by blue beetles. Just gonna let any homies under my charge know that we do an extraordinary thing. Saving kids and shit. Let's see ya trump that bee-yatchi samachi. Boom, up jumped the dragon. See, I don't even need to make sense no more. Cause I save kids and shit.

Acceptance of resposibility initiated again. Yeah, sure. Whatever, sometimes ya gotta grow up, seewhutimsayin? I've ordered the Helm of Responsibility and Sheild of Dependability from TSR Industries. They'll be all plus three or something. Bling bling Elfin rings. I always try my best on any task I take under my albatross wings. If pride is a sin, I'll swim in hell. Got my bathing suit all laid out. The shower rooms of hell are the sweetest.

As you can see, I won't make any conventional sense this go round. Bail from the out of control domestic sedan when you feel the most confused.

I was wondering if I notice cigarette lighters in dashboards anymore. Personally, I always imagined them as potential tragedy tools. Ember circles glowing searing heat. Dammit, I dropped the dynamite. Dammit, I dropped the cigarette lighter. Happy happy boom booms. I took a cotton to popping those fire cylinders into action. Daydreaming of experiencing joy launching the combustible rod with a slingshot into some backward hick mullet tankwad asshole's open driver's side window.

Hey there, um spanky Mc'Runon? Sigh, what do you want? Maybe, since you are a major freak, ya shouldn't be attempting literary brilliance under the lantern's influence, waddyah say, hmmmmmm? I've never liked you, reasonable spanky. Whatever, sign the fuck off. Peace peoples, a mutiny is underway. Must see to it's glorious completion.