So the sex comedy festival went great. The best performer was Andrew the Blue Bunny. Very tall gay guy in heels and a see through blue lacey one peice bunny suit. He had a stinging sense of humor, and was just out there. He said he knew that he was gay and has love handles and that kinda goes aginst the grain but fuck it he's gonna run out and get a bacon egg and cheese, eat half of it, and stick the other half up his butt, cause he can't wait for it to come out of his ass. The hostess for the evening was Dr. Ducky Doolittle crackpot sexologist. She gave two presentations. First on animal sexuality, focusing on masturbators in the beasty world. Dolphins wank off more than we do, they use each other, sharks, turtles, rocks, boats, or any old thing floating around the sea. Her second presentation was on sex laws around the country. Did you know, in Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to fire a gun while bringing a woman to orgasm. In Texas you can serve a life penalty for engaging in anal sex. The skit on the Asian O.B. tampon was hilarious. And our cautionary tale of the future on gay robot sex was well received. Guy tried to improvise some stuff that didn't go over too well, and rankled Lou, the writer of the skit. But all was forgiven when Lou and I started roboning on stage. No actual penetration took place, fear not for my rectum.

I am going out with Kathleen tonight. Can't fuck it up. I am going to write on my hand "Don't fuck up". You must send me your don't fuck up energy. Just for tonight, you can have it back tomorrow. I have gotten infinitely better at the game, but its been a long time since I actually wanted it to work out relationship wise. Most of the other girls (sorry) were just for base pleasure. And unless Dick Whiskey was in charge (I have to stop having random drunk sex - its retarded) they got their joy buzzers pushed too. Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up.

I got the Treehouse of Horror Simpson series today. Bart as the Fly, Homer as King Kong, Mr.Burns as Dracula, and Ned Flanders as the devil. It came with the Springfield Cemetary, gravestones (Itchy and Scratchy are on two of them), menacing trees with the gremlin that tried to ruin the school bus up in the branches, a little evil Krusty doll, and a backdrop with Marge the witch, and the two aliens. Its supa dupa dope, and I'm geeking out hard, and fuckie you, you square. It makes me smile.

Remember - never chew gum and take a dump at the same time.