A life of two sesame seeds.

Actually fantasising of the type of therapist I might be able to stomach. A psychiatrist would more likely create teeth bearing rage rather than assuage any issues I may or may not have. I prefer figuring shit out on my own anyway. Insomnia is a condition I've well acclimated to. Resolved to an insomnia personality. Brain starting to cramp up. Fuck I dunno. Thought if some chill ass muthafucker was available to talk and wouldn't try and choo choo train in a bunch of drippy claptrap, I could see benefiting from that.

They forced me into therapy when I was a kid. Troubled child and all. Lilty voiced, sensitive era, eager young lady fresh from the halls of Freud and Jung theory. Couldn't take all the gushing psuedo caring. I'm sure she pondered my woes staring into her Special K every morning. I remember thinking, even at the formative age of ten, that this woman needed some serious mammoth cock. She just had too much hope. I couldn't respect her.

Funny enough, after four years, she assured my folks that my weird and freak off the leash behavior, while atypical of most of the populace of my age, were successful mechanisms to make me brain healthy. "So we should let him go into trances, making loud sound effects, wildly fidgeting about with his fingers?" Yes. This was not the answer they wanted, as they hoped I'd start acting like a human child soon. I would have resisted every attempt to "fix" me regardless.

Been questioning how long I can hold out, keep it up, teeter on the brink of insanity. Sign of how nuts the world is, most people in my social circle come to me with their problems cause they think I've got it mostly figured out. Granted, I'll admit to having powerful gifts of deduction and cognitive thinking. Speculation in my back pocket. But your asking advice from a maniac who believes humanity will be extinct within a few more generations and is comforted by it.

What the fuck sparked all this? Plenty. Nothing. Two sesame seeds. Welp, I'm tired of introspection for the day. See ya.