Luckily I don't believe in an afterlife. Which is good, since I would have a hard time finding the immortality that I don't believe in either. Besides any imaginary old man in the sky would certainly make seperate heavens. Those thigh clenching virgins are gonna be some repressed horny, dropping the panties immediately hookers, moments after walking through heaven's turnstiles. Saved that shit so they could get into paradise. Once they're passed the pearly gates they'll need love juice in all three holes.

The lord can't be having rabid virgins running amok in the clouds. Partition them off in the virgin heaven strapped to boning machines for a few millennia. Break em in like a new saddle. Then they can stumble into the non idiotic heaven more sedate.

I like my hymens presevered. Bust that flap o' skin out with all the clumsy boys under the bleachers at the homecoming game. I like pussy that has been on the battlefield. A cock veteran.

I suppose I wouldn't be completely opposed to some chick wanting to be taught how to satisfy her anal hunger. Cue the late night thriller movie preview music. In a world that honors chastity, Tina was a good girl, till she fell in with the wrong crowd. Now she roams the streets at night, searching for those that can satisfy her........ANAL HUNGER! Coming to theaters near you.

Was thinking about a night in the days before I swore off drunken sex. I picked up a more than healthy chick. Now, some men believe that the ample ladies are sexy or wouldn't spurn love in whatever form it takes. I, on the other hand, only go cow tipping cause they usually take cock anyway and in anywhere they can get it. You want your nuts drained dry down the back of a girl's throat, a good bet will be to choose a chubby one. They suck dick like they were peeling the tender meat off a barbequed beef rib.

I do have a slight concious. So I gave up the Rubenesque female faction after the encounter I am about to relay. See, I know that I am just gonna forget their number and write off the experience to inebriated bad judgement. Don't really give a shit what people think of me. However, making someone feel like a spankerchief ain't all that cool. If I honestly don't wanna ride ya more than once, I just don't go for the test drive anymore.

I can unleash the spunk solo on my own bed. Don't even have to fumble around in the dark looking for my shorts and sneak out into the dawn hours.

Anyway, this last fat chick. Tumbling around, I was digitally tweaking her buttons. Wasn't even going there yet, but one of my fingers slid into the backdoor. She halts the action. Batting her eyelashes "I'm not really experienced there yet, but maybe you can teach me", coyish grin. Killed the mood for me at least. Don't want to be that entry in her diary. Dear diary, yesterday a boy named spanky parked his dick in my ass, gosh did that sting. I mean, what the hell was I there for anyway if I wasn't gonna eventually take the vein train to a-town?

Somewhat thankful to her. Not that I ever called her up and told her so. Quite a moment of clarity. The second she mentioned how she wasn't a butt sex pro it dawned on me that I really didn't want to be there. Sipping on my vodka, scanning the bar, I will no longer see the fat chick as a possible opportunity to drop it in the ass anymore. She's just gonna be a chick that I have no business in the sheets with.

Who wants me to date their sister?