Honestly don't mind my thinning spots, but some frosting needs to be done on the reflective scalp so I don't send Morse code from my skull everytime I pass under track lighting. I am fortunate to have benevolent hair loss for the most part. Gradual removal without the palomino style patches. But the fucking glare, sheesh.

YEAR TEN: This was the summer I almost croaked from a poison ivy infection. Wrote extensively about it in an entry before. Basically the pollen was accidentally mainlined into my bloodstream, via scraping my leg against tree bark covered in the noxious stuff. Had sores inside my mouth, under my eyelids, lining the the outer lengths of my urethra. Covered. Week long delusional drooling nonsensical vocal outbursts style semi-coma. Fun the whole family can enjoy.

I made my pal kiss my bare pale white ass after winning a ping pong tournament. We agreed that morning that whomever lost the most games out of fifty had to kiss the other's bare ass. He smugly accepted the challenge. Late afternoon I was trying to decide if I should squeeze out a fart in his face as he built up the nerve to plant one on my right ass cheek.

Sneaker goop. Already sis and I were sporting the latest in trailer trash footwear; Zips sneakers. Didn't really faze me all that much, the commercials for Zips during Saturday morning cartoons made them seem like superhero action gear. But, Pop would refurbish the soles with Sneaker Goop. Some silicone mixture packaged in squeeze tubes, like toothpaste. Squirt it on worn down parts of the soles of your sneakers, hardens overnight. Sparkling clean white patches completely clashing against the dirty parts. Pretty obvious what side of the income railroad tracks I was livin on.

Bully in, bully out. I was well harassed throughout my runt four eyed existence. Didn't help that public schools just retain kids that have to repeat grades, no matter how many times they repeat them. Fifth graders with shaving stubble. I was a target often. I got scrappy and known for defending myself with whatever "dirty" tactics were available.

One kid had me pinned, rubbing my face into the playground blacktop, breaking my glasses. He got his hand close to my mouth. My teeth met inside the webbing of his thumb and forefinger. When he yelped backwards out of pain, I grabbed the nearest rock and perforated all the layers of skin on his forehead with a good chuck. I walked away crying. Skipped school for the rest of the day and sat on my porch till my Ma got home.

A new kid from the boonies showed up halfway through the Fifth grade year. Farm fish out of the creek syndrome. He was ostracised immediately. I shamefully picked on him and physically bullied him whenever possible. Stupid bullies make bullies thing. He complained to the teacher about my harassment, and she warned me he was used to working the fields and was stronger than appearances. Just egged me on.

I chased him down that day. His path home was similar to mine. Pushed him in the back of the head. He spun around and launched me into thick bushes. He unleashed all his pent up anger and landed numerous blows. Pounded me something fierce. I deserved every lick too. What hurt more than anything was the sobbing face he made when he did it, I recognised it well, since I had reached my limit more than once with attackers. We never made official peace, just avoided each other till the school year ran it's course. Never bullied another kid after that.

Still had to defend myself plenty. Still would try my best to cripple any asshole that wanted to bully me, always going for testicles and eyeballs. Still can't deal with fucking bullies of any sort, and they gets no play with me.

For Halloween that year Pop made me a Calibos inspired Cyclops mask. Just saw Clash Of The Titans. Made my sister a Medusa mask. They were on point. I say goddamn! Let a player play goddammit. Mutherfucker was throwing down with the pasty strips of newspaper. Put those arts and crafts in your back pocket Pops. Go ahead on big poppa. The store bought plastic shits ain't got no pimp in them. I was Halloween stylin on a professional level.