Whilst chillething on yon sofa, hark a knock! The doppler effect of Larry The Stupor's dirty boot shuffle down the hallway presciently pointed to his hallmarks. During the moment of tin portal rapping, I actually had my shirt off and was flexing the arm muscles, watching Inside The NFL, and completely spliffed. With all the stoner shirt throwing on and inching towards my peephole aplomb, I must have taken far too long for the twittard's liking.

So he slid a break ass print job notice under my door. Nicely spliced down da middle with dull scissors. It's quite a gem of craftmanship. The great catacombs of the heralded Master Super would be proud.

So, here it comes in all it's unedited glory, replete with the gorgeous misspellings and abysmally beautiful punctuation that the finest dullard can provide. Brace yo'sef fools.

TENNANTS ( Then, in what appears to be a scribbled afterthought, in red crayon ( I'm not kidding ) ) SATURDAY MORNiNg ( Back to print ) WORKERS WIL BE ON THE BACK FIRE ESCAPES REPLACEING THE RUSTED OUT CHIMINY STACK, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR CURTIN AND SHADES IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SEEN LARRY.

Chiminy possibly, big strong odds on it, possibly my favorite bit. I can just picture him single finger typing away at the Stinko's on Houston Street, mouth quivering as he demonstratively says the word out loud to figure out it's spelling. Ch-ch-chimmmmm, chim-mi-mi-chimi-ny! CHIMINY! I is so smart. S M fart, I is smart. Du'hoi!

To all the god maniacs in the audience. Do ya really think your god created Larry out of love? The great agape ( look it up ) of your blessed creator? I can only see his creation to be a bursting stream of voyueristic amusement for your god to sup on. Certainly, when the time comes for CURTIN AND SHADES on Larry, that curmudgeonly rascally yet impish delightful old man in the clouds deity of yours got some splanin to do. Fortunate for me I don't believe in the bugger, or else he'd spank me in my sleep right? Bad bad spanky.

Putting the down payment on my air conditioned space age bachelor pad on the outer rim of the third ring of hell. Yee haw hoo dinkly stink!