Wednesday night. Hooked up with the Clan of Matthews at their Houston Street enclave. Calm evening of Scrabble and delivered Thai food. I refrained from partaking of the spicy repast, as well as the sucking back fog cooking in their power rod, philanthropically distributed from the Green Lantern Corps. Trying to rehydrate my chapped motivation. Smoldering lanterns unfortunately douse saline solution on it.

Satisfied my fingers enough on their three legged cat. Signaled Luke to head for the out of doors. My favorite bar vixen, Val, was commanding the bottles that evening. An argument of "you need to wake up early tomorrow", "no, you wake up early tomorrow", and the freeze sheild bundles were thrown on.

Val shewarrior battle cries as I enter the sin establishment. She's already feeling the liquor. Val is a gut tonic Valkyrie of the loftiest echelon. Pint glass of Stoli and soda placed before me. The hewn valleys of my liver began rising to the floodmark.

A raffle was underway. One of the cocktail waitresses, Famous, desperately needed college book money. The entire hottie roster of the joint was offering lap dances, make out sessions, and spankings, for two buck lottery chance tickets. I tossed in, sincerly to simply support the cause. Not that my hands wouldn't appreciate studying the curves of these angelic shorties, but I prefer my sleazy lap dances in sleazy places, performed by bare assed money hungry strippers. I also prefer to deviantly earn my time sucking face, not as a result of my name being picked out of a plastic pitcher. And, if ya hadn't figured it out, I'm a top not a bottom. Any spanking to be had around me generally means my palm is slapping tushie. Added twenty bones to the pot, hoping I would suck my vodka uninterrupted.

Bent over the brass rail. Famous is giving me a dozen weak cracks. I should have just requested that tables be turned. Rosy up that supple coed bottom of hers. She was wearing fishnets too, mi gusto mightily, gazing on increasing ruddied flesh through cross stiched stockings. I'm afraid I would have been poking her belly with junior as she splayed across my lap. Probably best I didn't request a turning of the tables. Pretended to enjoy the paddling and gave thanks.

Melissa showed with an eighteen year old pal. Seems ladies of the same ample cup size like to join forces on the drooling world. The barely legal wound up tongue battling with an accent. Despicable accent fetish again. Melissa, in an attempt to dispell the implant rumors, did the girls gone wild shirt flip. Nice light pink buttons.

Party wound up at her crib down on A. Quickly, Val insisted the crew move my way. Melissa was violently driving the porcelean bus to the technocolor lawns. And so it was towards my way.

I believe a game of charades was feebly attempted. Handfuls of people bang elbows in my crib. I am fortunate, space wise, for a single Manhattanite. Those not Gothamly blended would find my place a mere closet. Some had to plant themselves on the hardwood. Lasted until morning rush hour. Damn accent showed late, sat on the glass bong, and made himself too comfortable with the cd collection. Wine coolers that will remain unquaffed for eternity have been orphaned in my fridge. A severely inebriated Famous threw every article off my coat rack, attempted to leave with numerous hats, and she planted a cell phone bomb on my coffee table. Horrible ring tone busted my head in the hazed afternoon. Someone decided to put my glaucoma drops in a bucket of water. Peanut shells heaping over the sides of an ashtray. Val left her belt in my cushions. Ah yes, the splendor of single trashed livin.

Thursday night. Jav sent smoke signals. Call to all braves for another sweat hut pow wow. Headed towards Bar 169 where the sidewalk ends.

First freaks on point. Jav, Shirer and myself only alkies putting paper in the register. Breezy chill. Watched balls on a warped pool table arc worse than a boomerang. Hair of the dog buttering up my skull. I could feel the voices training the vocal chords for discord orchestra. Inner ear imps. Bastards.

More posse showed, Lam first, then Ama who had itchy cell phone desires. Encouraged Alfredo, her wide open marriage companion, to join. Grace, Giselle and Kiminy also added their swords to the fight. Jovial mood. Unfortunately, my background sight was focusing on troubled visions of the funny paper panels of my life. I should have just bailed then. I had a brief breakdown in the john. I felt my whole body shake, I knew an anxiety attack was about to strike. Braced my palms against the walls of the bathroom, trying to deep breath, eyes squinted shut, desperately attempting to abate a freak out meltdown.

I was in irritation mode for the rest of the course. Grace's wet willy nearly put me over the edge. Entire crew of smokers. Decided to start puffing away against the indoor city rules. Breaking the rules just to do so. Feh, I'm an addict, I understand I will always be surrounded by addicts. Digging my fingers in my stomach, talking down the rant engines. Just keep telling everyone in the brain; "please just relax, please just relax, please just relax, do not erupt into rage, please just relax".

Hung in to the end. Headed over to Grace's place. Luke was chillin, wondering why we didn't call him over. Family spat most likely the cause. Argued with Grace about being too burnt to focus on a Scrabble game. She went to bed, I went home.

Friday night. Was unenthusiastically debating whether to head towards Val again. Christina would be there and she asked me to show. Famous calls and tells me I have her phone. Watch the end of the refurbished Knicks triumph over Atlanta, pocket the phone and Val's belt, hit the streets.

Famous was more than grateful. Hoping she wasn't just retribution throwing a dirty old man a flirting bone by pulling up a chair and socialising with me for most of her time there. I don't have any booty aspirations toward her. She's tasty enough, just get the sense my key wouldn't fit her lock.

Barely rubbed up with Christina at all. Heavy traffic. Near the end of her shift some hamfisted tankwad rammed his tardbutt into the full tray she was carrying. I feel like I know this woman already. I postulated her meter was in the red after that. Sure and tootin, she was too upset to even say goodbye. Sigh. Frat dorkmeister supreme with his amateur maladroit drinking ruined my possible happy time with Christina. Told the voices that jail time wouldn't be worth yanking his leash.

Luke and Sully showed midway. Plenty of good chill. Sully was eating peanuts, and dropping the shells into a glass half filled with ice. For whatever reason the visual was most pleasing to me. Dry beige hulls resting atop glistening rocks, like a parfait Oscar the Grouch would make. Made my dimples smirk up.

Melissa showed again near closing. Val insisted that I was going nowhere as the bouncers were growling for all to leave. A weird motley mix showed minutes after four to celebrate someone's birthday. Soured nerves. While Val counted cash downstairs, the more Neanderthal of the bouncers shoved his weight and insisted Luke and I were no longer welcome. Waited outside in the artic for Val.

Melissa stumbles out. No cash. I share a cab to get her up Avenue A. I buy us slices at Nino's. She informs me that her keys are missing. Directly nextdoor to the pizzaria, she was ringing every single buzzer in the building to get inside. Fellow insomniacs greet us in the hallway. Melissa's knocking fails in her roomate letting her into the comforts. Her neighbors invite us upstairs for drinks and poker. I won a couple hands, but I left about thirty bones lighter. Met a bunch of LES thirty somethings, who freely opened the hearth. Was extremely dope playing cards with strangers, laughing hardily, being fed Stoli and weed.

Snark. Yeah, I ended the green prohibition. Bunch of people who didn't know me from Sam Sam the underwear man, without batting an eye, asked me to join their party. Would have been rude to throw up the Heisman trophy on a toke offer. Simple freak courtesy, it's in paragraph one of the metro rule book.

Noticed Melissa had slipped away while I socialised. Donned the layers and bounced. Met Melissa crouched against her door, half nodding out, waiting for someone to open her door. She refused a comfy couch offer, insisting on continuing to bust her butt on tile. I shrugged and skipped. Slid in the homebase sheets for more uneasy dreaming.