There aren't too many things I have to say while holding my dick. Maybe "Jeezus christ, gasp, that fuckin hurt, retch." or "That's right. Oooooooo. Yeah. Your so good. Stop biting." But not, "Yeah the Knicks really kicked ass last night." or "I never really gave it much thought why stop signs are red."

Also, what is up with the whole bathroom cum library concept? For me taking a shit is sitting down, make a deposit as quickly as possible, and get out. What makes the john seem like a good place to sit back, relax, and enjoy a good book. Especially a public bathroom. I geuss constipation can make the ride take longer. But how the hell do you concentrate on words while passing a brick?

I once had a roomate who enjoyed eating while taking a crap. Food of choice for this activity was usually Crackdonalds. Somewhat of an interesting symmetry there. But yo, thats taking scatalogical enjoyment too far.

I want an America where toilets are for pooping and tinkling only.