New York City 1948


06:43 p.m.-2001-03-20

why I don't sleep

Could we be seeing the beginning of another great depression? Tons of people are out of work. Five thousand is the magic number it seems. Oracle, IBM, Compaq, Disney, Soloman Smith Barney, AT&T and the list goes on for companies firing five thousand or more peeps. People being shut down and bought out. In NYC I've been hearing that landlords can't put people into empty apartments. Couldn't happen to a nicer group. People are making the exodus out of here. They can't keep the lights on in California. Fuel prices are through the roof. Lots of things that smell like economic doom.

All you naysayers can lick my ass crack. I told you it was coming but you like your fantasy worlds. I went through some poverty shit before, I can handle it, can you? Even if you think you can, rethink that shit. Could you go a week without eating, and then when you do its just stale bread? Could you live ten to a one room apartment? Could you fight off everyone trying to steal your possessions. Less cops. Less governmental influence. Less international respect. Could you beg for third hand clothes. Could you work fourteen hour days mopping up shit, for bad wages because it was the only job you could find to keep your family alive? Could you go through all of that while the rich still lived rich, and in your face? Could you imagine an apple being a luxury?

You know what follows every depression. War. Are you ready to be enlisted young man? Are you ready to become the sole bread winner young lady? Are you ready to see your son, brother, friend, lover, husband die, or come back home with no legs, sight or sanity?

Honestly, I don't want it to happen. Honestly, I know I can survive it. Honestly, do you think you can handle it?

Solutions? Nothing short term. No quick fix. No MTV blurb to save us. Stop breeding. Stop buying into the American bullshit dream. Don't let organized religion control you. Worry about bolstering the environment, not the economy. Don't let the assholes get away with turning this place into a mud ball. Don't let anybody, anywhere starve. Make education the top priority in all instances. Respect the earth and each other.

I am guilty. I have made no attempts to change things myself. Except for the fact that I have removed my self from conventional society. My guilt lies in the fact that I have no faith in humans to create a global society that works, and not destructs. I don't think we have much time left, so I choose to give up. I will observe the crumble without reaching out to catch it. I have to live with that. But if you honestly have hope, and believe you can make a difference, shut up and act.

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