The acting. Apparently the porn stars are actually concerned and take pride in their acting abilities. But convincing people that a patient and a doctor would start boning after she came in to get an ache investigated in her pussy, is a daunting task for master thespians. Much less hot dizzy chicks "discovered" on couches, and guys with all of their brains located in their horse dicks. Plus the plots are more misconstrued than Grimm's fairy tales. My favorite still is in Deep Throat, where the lead chick is troubled cause her clit is located in the back of her throat, and can only cum by having huge members delve her esophagus.

The silicone. I don't find it attractive at all. I've raged about this before. And while I can almost forgive a woman enhancing herself so clothes fit better and all that other justification crapola. Tits the size of basketballs, and any man who finds that arrousing is retarded.

Cock slapping. I know that you've got a bat between your legs. But whacking a girl on her lips, ass, tits or clit with it is neither exciting to me, or to the woman getting beat like Rodney King with those meat sticks. Go play t-ball with it.

Cum (money) shots. I find my own semen manageable. I don't get extra excited seeing it launch from spanklin jr. So watching guys shower love juice on the gaping faces of the lucky ladies involved is actually a boner killer. I don't know who started the rumor that we needed to see spurting spunk in order to have a complete skin flick experience. I for one vote for internal squirting.

Filling all holes. I've got a one dick per room rule. This includes fantasy domains. So watching some girl spinning on the cock rotisserie is too much for my eyes. There's an actual two cocks in one vagina category. Sloppy seconds are one thing, but can't you wait until the other guy is finished before cramming yourself in there. Who are the guys turned on by these sword fights?

Close ups. To me what really pitches my tent is seeing the entire woman's body while she is getting reamed. I like to see her facial expressions all the way down to her toes reacting. I don't need a three square inch telescoping view of a gargantuan pecker sliding in and out of some chicks butthole. What I need to see is tits and ass jiggling, sneering lips, fingers digging in, feet scrunching, and body sweat flying. And all in one grand landscaping shot. I ain't a fly, and I do not want to prentend I am one perched on some guys nuts.

Fake orgasms. I won't go into an in depth defense of my character here, but I can definitely spot a genuine pleasure scream over an erronious one. I'm not a boy filled with retarded wishful thinking, and neither are my ears. I especially will not believe that a woman will climax with earsplitting vigor just by having cum splashed on her back. In this instance if it ain't real, silence is golden.

Unfortunately this is yet another example of how the idiotic lowest common denominator is being satiated. I will cry and genuflect the day I see a porno category for thinkers. I mean I am a guy and my dick does get the logic defying deciding vote. But I still dream for intelligent dirty pics. Maybe I'll have to start spanklin jizz productions to fill the void.