I believe I referred to myself as "East Village cute" tonight. What the fuck is wrong wih me? Was speculating on potential bartending gigs if I was to lose my glorious internet technology career. There was a girl online, working at the club Spa, and she mentioned that they needed bartenders. She also said that they would like a photo of myself along with the application to ensure my attractiveness. And I actually defended my looks with the line "East Village cute". Somebody please make fun of me immediately and ruthlessly.

Not a fan of the cops. My experiences have tilted on the negative side when dealing with them. Did you know they are actually requiring that new recruits have some college experience. Experience? So they go to college for a semester, flunk out, and then trot on over to the academy to fulfill their aspirations to serve and protect. I apologize to all the mensa candidates that currently serve on the force that I have just insulted. Please don't shoot me with your big brains.

So the blasting music that wakes me daily from the piddling amount of sleep I get finally made me snap. I actually trashed my beliefs and called figures of authority to help me out. They said I would have to find out the address of the culprit all the way to the apartment number if I wanted any assistance. Resisting the urge to begin a soliloquy on how much the person on the phone resembled various animal rectums, I just hung up, scratched my crotch, and fought back the slumber deprived tears welling up.

Anna Kournikova take me away.