But basing what I think of others on what shows they watch disappoints. I should be launching my tube from my roof, instead of honoring it with such high praise as my litmus test of people I meet.

But honestly, who the fuck actually enjoys Friends, Just Shoot Me, Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Pokemon, The Weakest Link, Frasier, Street Smarts, anything on Lifetime, investigative ghost shows, Oprah, any "news" show not on PBS, Hollywood Squares, Entertainment Tonight, the greatest blunders of WWII, how to decorate a picnic basket, any soap opera, Jay Leno, any sitcom that you've already seen once, any show that asks you to empathise for the inflated imaginary plights of over priveledged teenagers, or actually fondly humming along or quoting the newest coolest commercial? Mutants and farm animals. Or rather those with the charisma of mutants from an irradiated landscape, and the intelligence of cud chewing farm animals.

Television is the nipple for the weening retarded public. I have a hard time justifying my own watching habits. Granted I believe I'm benefitting from watching Nova or Frontline rather than Extra or Wheel of Fortune. But a drunk is a drunk whether he's drinking Cristal or Thunderbird. I'm a junkie, I shoot a better class of cable smack into my veins than most, but I'm still a junkie.