This time of day mind wanders to the importance of eyelash curlers and riding around in the Pope-mobile. What would happen if I woke up and someone had sewn my ears down flat to my head? If I had been saving all the semen I've squirted out since my first wanking session, how many mason jars would I have filled? What if we filled all our bombs and missles with cinnamon? Wondering if there would be anyway I could bitch slap my fellow coworkers and get away with it.

In the middle of a Ren and Stimpy quote battle. Glazed ham, chocolate covered raisins.... Youuuuuu covet my ice cream bar, I've had it since I was a child. Our country stinks of trees, our yaks are really large.....

Saw Almost Famous last night. Movie was alright, wasn't an overt steamy pile of tripe. But Kate Hudson was in it, and holy does she have amazing feet. Yes I will watch something strictly for the fact that one of the starlets in it has cute feet and they are exposed in the program. They should make a movie called Kate Hudson, Christina Ricci and Laura Flynn Boyle Try on Open Toed Strappy Heels. People are in trouble if I actually do become famous.