Trying to remember the last time my shoulder length hair was an issue. I suppose part of the reason I keep it like that is that it helps to maintain my fringe status. Never been an obstacle career wise. Except of course in St.louis. A side of illeberal waspishness comes with every entree in St.Louis.

Oddly enough, even with the balding aspect, people have difficulties believing that I'm thirty. If I kept clean shaven it would be even more problematic. Might as well throw a diaper and a bonnet on me then. Pinching my cheek, when's puberty gonna kick in there big fella?

I attribute my youthful nature to the fact that I never got married or had kids. I've seen teenagers that look more ragged than me cause they had a bundle of joy. Course you'd think all my reckless single livin would put it's timestamp on me. Maybe my constant shirking of responsibilities forced my metabolism to slow down so that when I actually do grow up I'll have the stamina reserves available. I'm banking on the concept that its because I ejaculate three or four times a day and get my dick greased as much as possible. In which case, it would be irresponsible of me not to thank all the ladies that have contributed their pheremones and bodily fluids to the benefit of my youth.

Okay, I'll admit the bona fide determinant towards my maintenance of a baby face. I bathe in the the blood of a dozen virgins every full moon, offer up my semen to a coven for sacrificial sperm ceremonies on a regular basis, and once every two years do a week of service in the Hades Army Reserves.