I've been debating whether or not I should take better care of myself. How many vices can a man refrain from until he's just a pile of scrotumless blandhood? I recognized the necessity to give up the American Spirits when specks of blood appeared in the chest clams I'd cough up after a night of bar hoppin. I still rub up against people like a cat in heat to absorb the second hand smoke emanating from the cherry of their cigarette. I don't exercise my liver nearly as much as I used to. Meaning; instead of going out six or seven nights out the week, its more like two or three. Still is impressively frightening how much booze I can handle. Thursday night at Cherry Tavern, thirteen Stoli Vanils on the rocks plus shots, able to maintain superiority on the pool table, successfully flirt, and not stumble, drool, slur, or act like I was inebriated in any fashion. Just nice. I eat my veggies, but I also eat my nachos. Fart, not in the mood to think healthy.

For whatever reason I keep picturing my grandpa giggling "big city beer". My mother and I have birthdays three days apart in July. So we'd usually escape the sticky heat of St.Louis and go up to Wisconsin during the summer and wind up having a huge bbq dual bday slash family reunion bash in the lovely summertime climes of Oshgosh Wisconsin. My mom's side of the family is extensive and dizzying to keep up with. Grandma had thirteen brothers and sisters all who spawned more Midwest Russian Germanic lineage Schlitz guzzling type creatures. Grandpa pulled up in his Buick fresh from the beer distributor, handed my ma a case of Budweiser and gleefully and teasingly repeated "hey look I got the big city folks some of their big city beer, hee hee hee."

I've been imagining a new bikini top. The cups are shaped like two devlish imps, with their arms and legs wrapped around the tits like a monkey fucking a football, and their face is right on top of the nipples with the mouths pucker shaped and suctioned to the them. Made out of latex and individually hand crafted and painted to look like authentic grippy suck gremlins. I think their tails should wag somehow, but it may be overboard to have them produce muffled cackles and grunts when squeezed.