I ditched a cabbie last night. He was braking at erratic moments. Didn't make sense at all. Decided to stop creating street videos for the music I had in my headphones, and study the driver. Fucker was nodding off. So the light turned green, he didn't wake up, and I stepped out of the taxi. He then tried to follow me in his cab, to which I kept going down streets he couldn't follow. He actually appeared on one corner screaming "are you crazy, it was a red light, pay me!". Deciding to stop playing cat and mouse, I informed him that I was indeed crazy and he was lucky I didn't gank him for his loot while he slumbered instead of driving and that he better get out of my hood before my brethren dine on his flesh. I noticed at this point as I was leaning into his window glaring at him that he left the meter running while he was chasing me. The fare was even more of a chunk of tootsie roll to swallow. He took off.

I imagine he pried his eyelids open with toothpicks for the rest of the night. He really is lucky that while I have no compunctions about making him eat the fare based on an apparent sleep deprived life, I wasn't some night troll delighting in fucking with an inattentive working stiff. Or some constipated goody goody who took down his medallion number and reported him the the Taxi and Limousine Commission. If he falls asleep at the wheel again, he's a unlearning dolt who deserves whatever ride swipes befall him.

I will now begin accepting votes and funding for my canonization. Father spanky the skeptical, patron saint of the surly.