Fucking silly mess this morning. Double vision and soft focus. Feels like I'm swimming in squalor. Shit dispensing sun. When does the hurricane season start? All those southernly torrents suck down the cool air from Canada. You live in hurricane country? Lick the sack. You decided to live there, now get the eye of the storm spinning, and give me some relief ya hicks.

Was questioned on my Green Lantern status. Donning my Green Lantern logo shirt, a random cuss asked me who the last man to don the ring was. Got me. Threatened to remove my shirt. Eat chunder, foul creature. The only Green Lantern of any signifigance is Hal Jordan anyway. Be off before I dispatch you with extreme predjudice.

Wonder what kind of Green Lantern I would be, Slacker Lantern most likely. What shade of green most represents slack? Olive or fatigue drab. Hmmmmm. Nope, got it, sensemilla green, nuggy nug green.

In brightest day, in blackest night. No chill out shall escape my sight. Let all those who worship work's might, beware my power; Slacker Lantern's light!

Materialise green couch and emerald water pipe. Will need to order out the falafel sammiches and vanilla shake. The ring cannot create sustenance. Will make an awesome universal remote though, no electronics shall be spared my controling powers.

I would protect every grubby little creature ( if you consider yourself a grubby little creature, too bad so sad, humans are off my savior list ), and every thick ass tree. Poachers and log splitters beware, the green scope is upon thee. Tourism would be squashed. Any asshole attemptimg to impose their lifestyle on any populace would be forced through my giant thrashing machine in the sky, green of course. Some people would have permenant word mufflers installed into their voice boxes. Plenty of women would be juiced with my perfectly individually spec'd sex toys with unlimited power. Always able to generate a swanky green bachelor fuck pad. Always able to generate a back scratcher to hit those out of reach spots. Mmmmmmmmmmm, power ring, drool.

Quite obvious to me that I would wield the power of the lantern properly. I am the suitable successor. Green Lantern Corps, open your halls, accept your brother. I will do admirable things with the ring's might.