Hate feeling like a party pooper, but I ain't participating in the fun office Hawaiin shirt day. Sorry lame chunks, my black clad ass is not flipping the wardrobe script for coworker camaraderie. I will take asshole position on this. What's that? Oh thats me licking my middle finger. Fuckin fuck work.

Distend my rectum hosebeasts. I will complain about my job. Skyrocketing employment rates be damned. I have pain. I will discuss pain. Your pain is irrelevent. Your pain is futile. I am the only one that matters. Thats right. Alright when I rule terra prime I'll set my jobless homies up with laid back gigs. Out of work people I don't like or know can suck the bozack. Hard. Suck it hard you dole no income marchin on in bitch.

Real bagels rock. Midtown sinfully scant on the proper bagel. Shouldn't be that hard to import them from downtown. Munchies. Silly fuck, you gots the munchies. Write an extensive essay on the wonders of downtown bagels. Silly savage stoner freak.

Christ the cheesemaker! The weather is so clement that it's erotic. Outdoor boning climate for sure. Perfect for throwing someone up against a chain-link fence and sliding in and out of them. Great for pussy juice flowing down either side of your cheek, looking up at a honey sitting on a park bench biting her lip. Bent over the hood of a car. Wrestling on top of a mausoleum in a breeze kissed cemetery. Taking in the vista of Manhattan while receiving brain on the roof of your apartment building. Thank hot habanero chilis for fuck weather!

You might have guessed. This is kind bud. Bubbles popping from my head. Hold on one sec whilst I inspect my eyes for traces of bloodshotedness. That's a word nerdy the lovetub. Werd.

Slight ruddy hues. Like a precocious new potato, peeking through its mayonnaise dressing. Mmmmmmm potato salad. Burn out. So, the eyes not noticably vibrant with crimson activity. Nothing that my thirty something scruffy life doesn't normally represent. Everything slacker freak five by five? Hair on the greasy side? Check. Six day denial of the razor to face? Check. Pool cue chalk fingerprints on the black jeans? Check. Coworkers scared to introduce their sisters/wives/daughters to me? Check. Don't you worry bout a thang.

Don't you worry bout a thang.

Sausage rain! Knockwurst, bratwurst and bauerwurst pelt the earth! Salsiccia, salami and pepperoni run saltpetered red through the streets! Chorizo and linguica spice up that ass! Andouille and boudin blanc simmer over dere chere. Kielbasa! KIELBASA! You shall reign Polish and supreme. Kielbasa! Kielbasa find your mustard and sauerkraut perch and take sight of all that is yours. Kieeeeellllllbaaaaasa.