Funny enough I'm sleeping better than usual. Constant storm fronts and grey days rolling through helps pacify my head. Actually sleeping six hours at a stretch. Six hours is a bumper crop of sleep for me. Plus I am just a fall season animal. I should be happier now.

As my two favorite holidays approach I think I'm realising how much this fucking corporation I work for harms my mental health. They continue the jerking of the hook, dangling reports of us doing well financially and maintaining a profit while other IT companies struggle. And then on the other side of the scale insisting they don't have the funds to pay us properly, and continue to cut back on the niceties. All the while piling on the extra work on the survivors of the layoff game. Shit merchants.

Back to my two favorite holidays.

Halloween. It's secondary in fondness, but I love it so. Normally I'd be planning out what outfit I would unleash upon the public. Can't get into the spirit. The Great Pumpkin would definitely pass up my patch. My Halloween sincerity left me. Low fundage, can't fully power out a proper get up. Of course they have me scheduled for that evening to work. Don't mind waiting till midnight to rage, but the fire is doused. Anyway, a cloud is following me and I can't seem to shake it. Wouldn't want to spoil Halloween with my foul moods.

Thanksgiving. The bomb diggidty. My folks, my sis, and myself always enjoy each other on Thanksgiving. We just have a dandy time all around. Historically I spend two weeks out in the old homestead with the immediate family. Hang with my pop in the kitchen. Ma always blows work off so we can go hang at the art museum and zoo. Just walking around talking about life's crap. Taking naps on the big couch. They put me in charge of nightly stoking of the fireplace. I make a mean fire. I take care of a few strong back type activities, raking up leaves, cleaning out gutters, chopping wood, hauling shit, etc. It's comfortable and it's real. The jobby arranged so I can't connect with my peeps this year.

Fucking schedule. Every steamy pile month they change my time and days that I work. Can't figure out my life enough to not have to shave away my paid time off here and there until it's all gone magically. These fuckers don't let me know what days my weekend will consist of until two weeks before the new month starts. I had to take days off for my fucking eyes. For my fucking theater work. For my fucking dick. Not gonna let some bullshit schedule not allow me to get laid.

Pissed off I work in midtown, blocks away from tourist flocking sites. Pissed I either have to commute via subway or cab to get here. Subway not always bad, but when trains break down or are late, or some idiot decides whatever mania is going on in his skull must become part of your life, or assholes who don't know how to act in crowded cramped situations fuck with your space, or the plethera of problems that arise when you are forced to deal with the common sheep of the world. And cabbies in this town. Great squattin christ they triple suck as motorists. I have a feeling I will have to smack one of them eventually.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Anyway if you want anybody to cry, sic me on them. I'm ready to insult everyone. I'm just a little basket of cupcakes.