The new CEO of NYC, mayor Bloomberg, seems to be winning the fight to have smoking outlawed in all bars and clubs. Christ on a halfpipe, leave adults alone with their slow death march. Your such a health nut, concerned with living a long healthy life? What the fuck are you doing hanging at a bar then. Fuck off. I don't ever want to smoke another cigarette ever again. Well, not true, I desperately want to smoke teams of horse drawn carts full of coffin nails. I'm trying to admit that I have shitty lungs and can't handle it. But I'm not gonna ask people going to the self poisoning centers designated for free thinking grown-ups to refrain from feeding their addictions.

Work hazard my ass. So we should outlaw stuntmen from jumping off buildings. And emergency room workers at hospitals from working on people who are bleeding. Or geeks from staring at monitors for extended periods of time. Cause all those work related activities are potentially harmful to their health.

You know watching television has adverse affects on health according to the medical communtity so let's outlaw televisions in bars too. Oh wait, drinking alcohol can also be detrimental? Well then let's outlaw liquor in bars as well. And while your at it, someone might be present that would take offense to off color language, causing mental anguish. So let's outlaw swearing in bars.

Safety fascists. Bottle people up in their homes by making any slightly damaging activity unlawful amid the general public. See how many snipers you create that way. Numbnuts.

Anyway, homies were substantially more wasted than me last night. Being extra grumpy, not even thc would assuage that itchy beast within me. Tired of constantly attempting to keep kids from doing stupid drunk shit. Like throwing cats. Or constantly getting up in my face with their fingers. I bailed, and was thankful I manuevered the afterset away from my crib. Sweet sweet empty alone apartment.

Before that I was licking people at the bar. The dexterity and length of my tongue was put into question. So I touched the bottom of my chin with my tongue. Then turned it upside down, and then curled it, and then made it wave and undulate. So a couple chicks wondered how it would feel on their skin. I obliged with a demonstration. Wishing I could monitor the levels of moisture in their zippers with my fingers while I did so. Doubt I'll use the phone numbers I got for my mouth display. Most yambag idiots would probably drool all over those two chicks, but they ain't quite spanky category cute. Both of them looked like they had fake tits and had way too much war paint on. Implants and excessive makeup instantly disqualify you from naked games. Shoo shoo plastic chicks.

I think I should start a Mr. Grumpy live call in show. Cable access here I come.