Free time in NYC. Fucking sweet as mangos. Mad freak pedestrian activities will be had. Chasing after the female side of things. Possibly rousting up some psychedelics. Chillin on my couch, attempt to cross off a few books in my to read list. Watching movies. Doing whatever the fork I want in grande olde Gotham. Much needed therapy.

So I will not be updating here most likely during my freedom from slavery. Days will pass and your spanky fix will not be satiated. Listen to the children weep. Assuredly, I will have plenty of mischief to report whence I return. Hopefully the backlash of the instant gratification, slacker freak bastard behavior that I have to suppress to make that rent won't put me in stillwater. Not planning on commiting blatant crimes. Never know.

So, what is about to happen here is a revisting of all the archived crazy spew that I have documented from the deepest folds of my brain. All the random yet not commented on scribblings from the notepad I have carried with me these last couple years. It will seem scattered. And I don't care. It may seem long winded, actually since I haven't started yet I have no idea how much patience I will have with myself. Anyway, brace thyself fool.

Yernk! First item yet undisclosed in the old tome, I dunno if I can tell. See, methinks it be an idea for a story or script, too nummy to reveal to the public till I have written it, all copyrighted style. However intellectual property is spawned when it's spawned, and this thingy got a timestamp on it proving I thunk it up first. Hrrrmmmm.

Time for the shooting myself in the foot. I thought a serial killer that hunted down young identical twins, kills one of them in a ritualistic skin peeling type manner, and then monitors the life progression of the other one afterwards as a twisted kind of experiment. Twin Killer. Has a nice ring to it. You will have to deal with an insane godless fuck, namely me, if you steal that idea.

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis - Two names trying to cover up their ethnicity. I'm sure in the social environment they came up in they were known as the yid and the dago regardless of the anglicised names. I find bigotry and racism just funny. Yeah it's dangerous and stupid, but it's so tired and antiquated that I can't help but laugh at it's ridiculousness and chuckle about it. And share wrong humor with my friends about it.

Ewwwwww. Creepy. About a year before the downtown shitstorm I quipped - City waiting for a disaster. I was thinking more along the lines of a sudden return of the ice age, or a tsunami. Or how most structures here wouldn't withstand an earthquake very well. Basically I was pondering how well this city would react to a shitty collosal event. We handled it like pros. Don't know if becoming professional recovery artists is a good thing.

Then of course I started drawing a Godzilla sized robot call Disastor.

My TB afflictions. I had the beginning stages of tuberculosis when I was a runt. Had to take a year of horse pills that calcified the infection in my lungs. Meaning, the encapsulated parts of my lungs, about one fifth's worth, are like fossils, dead and not working. Good thing I like sucking back the smoke huh? Also I am stricken with a tiny bladder. A night of drinks is excellent exercise for my urethra. I remember thinking of another "TB" type problem, but it was when I was stoned, and stoner brilliance is fleeting.

The CIA has a drug that can kill an acid trip instantly. Comes in a syringe. Shot in the ass, and all the sudden all the pretty colors go bye bye. I could see the usefullness in possesing a stash of the stuff, but I'd probably try to inject it into my gums or worse whilst riding the sugarcube wave.

Nice quote: "One day someone will read this scrapbook ( the scrap in scrapbook is written in a schizophrenic wilding penmanship, more high time brilliance ), and call the straightjackets."

Pony play is pretty funny. I agree with myself there spanky, pony play is just plain silly. I like kink. Some have accused me of being a fetish freak. No arguments. But throwing a saddle and bridle on, pretending to be a horse, whinnying and shit for sexual arousal, well......silly. But, what ever butters your toast.

God of chunder. See Thor is the god of thunder. And at least I have called puke chunder. So I imagined one of my drunk idiot homies as the god of chunder. It's hard to be as clever as me.

Prison inmates fighting Southwestern wildfires. I jotted this down when I saw a news blurb about one of the desert states utilising convicts to squelch the raging blazes that were running rapshod at that time. Etched another reason never to get locked up.

Sex was so good that the sheets came.

Chainsaw bird!!! I absolutely can't get enough nature shows. Although I'm not a fan of Discovery and TLC cause I think they dumb down and sensationalise the programming to make educational television more palpable for the lower common denominator types. And I say, get scraped to that kind of shit. But yeah, there was a series on the life of birds, I think hosted by David Attenborough. Who is dope. And there was a bird, whose species name I can't recall, that could mimic almost any sound. It could even mimic with perfect clarity and volumn the sound of a chainsaw going through a tree. Imagine hearing that late at night in your tent. Leatherface is out to get me!

I was thinking about getting one of those fatigue green phones they used in Nam' as my cell phone. Sizable and clunky. Long whipping antenna. Obscene. Me likey.

There's only one reason I watch Sabrina The Teenage Witch. And its with the sound off. I might have repeated that one. Whatever, I would do nasty things to Melissa Joan Hart.

I'm not old enough yet to run for president. Not that I would ever. Not that I would be allowed to. Just seems like a benchmark age wise. Ain't that far off though.

Going to a small town in the bible belt, and ask one of the locals where all the smart people in town are. I think that would be a giggle.

Sauve ejaculators. I was listening to these two chicks discuss a recent sexual encounter. As an aside, you ladies ain't slick. Us guys may do locker room talk, but I have never heard one buddy tell the other one detailed descriptions of the chick's genitalia. Maybe "That shit was tight and juicy". But you girls mention size, shape, smell, angle, taste, noise production, color, consistency, skin quality, and on and on. Anyway, the one chick said she didn't think she could sleep with the guy again cause he made a goofy face when he came. Um....who are these men they meet that look like a cologne ad when they squirt? Its physically impossible not to have a screwy face when popping a load. Sheesh.

Another nice quote, Mad magazine put downs style: "There's this hole on your body where stinky stuff comes out, and then you got your asshole."

For whatever reason at one point I made up this chaingang like spiritual chorus up in my head that would not go away. I thought writing it down would take the power out of it. I don't sing it up in there anymore, so maybe it worked. Here it is - They might got diamonds. But, we's ovah here got da spears. Maybe I'm just nuts. Called the song Freaknas Bootch!

Nickname for a past retarded roomate I had. Kimydia. Long story about how she couldn't figure out who gave her chlamydia. Made her insides all wrong. And there was the one guy I worked with at Columbia who said he was gonna surprise call her. She never met him and I speculated that when he started talking to her she would ask "Are you the guy that gave me chlamydia?" Probably almost too distasteful for even me. But it's out there now, so lap it up suckers. Biznatch.

Hmmmmm, should I stop there? Probably advisable.