Today is confusing. Cause they tossed me back on the morning shift. Mornings are best for torturing people, fingering mongoloids, and stealing all the shipments flying into Laguardia. I woke up about thirteen hours ago, and now my body is wondering if the insomnia control center is in charge, or if doctor crash is about to swoop in with his cape and cut all the support mechanisms in my metabolism. Dangerous saber that doctor weilds. Who's the man with the knockout plan? Crash! You damn right.

Matters are interestingly and amusingly complicated by the numerous bowls I sucked back about four hours ago. Commence the unfurling of the predictable descriptive stoner slargon. Dude, this bud is kind, heh heh. Where's my bong cursor?

Fortuituos. Bottles of champaign were on point in the computer galleys. I consumed at least a full bottle myself, as other coworkers were unwilling to polish off open fizzing liquid. As unpleasant as the ensuing halfcrocked shift may be, I believe people should experience being drunk on the clock as often as possible.

Did much of nothing.

The night of the living amatuers is not all that exciting to me anyway. Neither is the sequel: The return of the living amatuers on St. Paddy's day. Granted, plenty of trim seeking bone on New Years Eve. There is a threshold of headache I am willing to endure to keep my dick wet. The few thousand greasy eared children I would have to sneer at and push out of the way to reel in the sex is too much for me. Plenty of slacker genes.

Actually taking care of work type issues while everyone else parties it up? Well, as many know, I don't even work hard when it ain't a holiday. Spent more time touching my dick than glancing at the machinations of this corporation on New Years.

Zazoo. Zazoo pep. Zazoo's petals. Zazoo and the quiet storm. Yeah, thats right what I said.

I think I am gonna tell people, as I stare deep into their face, "I already forgot everything you just said to me.". Or, "Dude, I totally spaced that, what?". Be forthright, stick out that chest. Taste those green fumes my fellow ant bastard. I can do my shitty jobby job whilst riding the puffy leafy beast of giggles. How bout you? No? Whatever, I got sites to surf now. Go put out a memorandum or something. Dork. Scram.