Fine and dandy you wanna live a salt cracker suburban lifestyle. Go have it. But, you bring your khaki tanks, or SUV's, into the city, and slow down NYC traffic. Puttering along looking for the best parking space so you can have your fancy weekend in the city. Don't bring your suburban mentality to my city.

The need for the remaining half pack of Hall's mentholyptus throat lozenges, was overwhelmed by my teeth gritting, stomach filling with adrenaline, rage. Nailed your driver side window with it while screaming with my caveman face "Get off the fucking road you assholes!". Yeah, I saw you cower from your original middle finger stance when my cabbie honked at ya. Then when you saw look in my eyes, you quickly lowered your hand and slammed on the brakes as to not confront me at the stoplight. Which, I would have made if not for you.

Yeah I saw you back there idling. Waiting for my taxi to accelerate again. Hopefully my face drilling you from the rear window will cause serious nightmares. New Yorkers dragging your team of weak comfort living wastes of space from the car. Kicking your guts in against the stone edifice of a building.

Of course your car was decorated with Jersey plates. Encountered at least four incompetent drivers marring my trip to, ugh, work. Every single one of them had Jersey plates. Keep your stank ass at home. Can't go antiquing in Jersey? Fuck off you vanilla stain.

Christ I need to get away from Midtown. Midtown is the gateway for Jersey into the city. I work in the Jersey artery of Manhattan. It's a slow reeking sludge crawl.

This scumporation actually bailed on possible Downtown offices to appease it's Jersey workers. Awww, make it harder to commute? I think Jersey commuters should have to evade land mine fields and road pit traps lined with teflon coated three foot long spikes to get into the city. And once a week New Yorkers should be able to smack one Jersey invader dead in the face.

Fuck you and your gas guzzling street cloggers. Fuck you and your eye sore golf shirts. Fuck you and your grocery supermarkets the size of small towns. Fuck you and your loudmouth amatuer weekend warrior bar hopping. Fuck you and your opinions of how New Yorkers should live their lives. Fuck you and your safe haven for asshole cops, retired and presently "serving" duty. Fuck you and your industrial stink that wafts over the Hudson River. Fuck you and your Broadway show coupons. Fuck you and your disparaging remarks of Gotham lifestyle. Just fuck you wide and open without even prison lube.

Jersey bitch.