Mmmmm space age technology. Extremely thin lens material. Completely overjoyed as normal glass for my prescription would make me look buggin out. Slice the bottoms off of three pop bottles and you'd get the picture. This new innovation is even thinner than the last go round. My eyes actually almost look like normal size and the same. Two vastly varying sight prescription needs in either eyes makes me look like I've got a semicolon in the middle of my face.

So I'm sporting a new face. I always feel like I've had grill transplant every new pair. Every new pair since I was seven.

Been a four-eyed geek freak since seven.

First pair were a caramel colored plastic clunky pair. The folks figured correctly that since I chewed through sneakers and you could count the minutes of time it took to wear out the knees on my Toughskins, that I'd need a sturdy pair of specs.

I remember the drive home. Could see the crisp edges of every leaf in the passing trees. Signs escalating from the horizon could be read sooner. I think the skin behind my ears was still tingling. The lady at the counter kept heating up the stems to adjust them, mold them around my ears. Spreading warm buzz from my lobes.

Kept that first pair through three prescritions. Grinding new glass, but the plastic frame stays the same. During the days of thrift store clothes, and food stamp coupon books, a new pair of frames would not fit the budget. So the face was partly caramel for some time.

The next pair was this translucent camouflage like pattern of blonde and bourbon colored plastic. It was more subtle than I just described. My pragmatic folks weren't gonna let my face look like some Eurotrash Bijan bullshit. Course, took some prodding on my end to convince them to let my face look somewhat unconventional. Course, the bargain pricing probably had more to do with it.

My face was partially blonde and bourbon speckled for at least a year.

Sometime around twelve, I began noticing curves. Curves that were disinterested with dorky boys with thick plastic frames. So I insisted that the next pair be metal wire frames. At this point I was down with Run. What's that? RUN DMC fool. Who's house? Run's house. So I convince the parental units to have my face include some gold.

Not real gold now. Be lucky if my ghetto ass was allowed even gold plating. The frames were fools gold. And I was the fool with gold on his face. Expansive area of lens, squared off shape. My knock off Gazelle's were fly, and matched parachute pants well. Can't be breakin with some herb specs. So my face was lined with plastiche gold for a couple years.

Sliding into high school. Decided that some metal rims with some red enamel baked on them was the ticket. If I recall correctly, and that's a longshot, the stems and nose bridge were like a white gold, and the rest was lined with the crimson madness. Not proud of that face. Lasted a couple years.

Pretty much stayed on the squarish metal wire frames after that. Until the year before I moved to NYC. Then started a long stint of black plastic Buddy Holly frames. During my transition phase of deciding I actually liked who I was and willing to accept my freak nature, I wanted a pair of glasses that left no confusion. Brazenly displaying my myopic nature.

The best face was when a pair of the black plastic frames snapped at the nose. Brace yourself for nerdly joy. I had to tape my frames together at the bridge. And I opted for the bright white, pocket protector and high water slacks matching, tape in the middle of my face. The danger geek face lasted for about a month. It was cool.

Then about three years ago my face changed radically again. Ditching the black frames, went for more subdued wire frame again. This time however they were circular! Up until this point my face included boxy markings around my eyes. This was the first time roundness was brought to the facial equation. Wore the fuck out of that face.

And now my face has some ovoid titanium. Adding some silver hues to the face. The green eyes are standing out better. I kinda like this new face. I think the pussy will too. Come on pussy! Lick my new face.