Even cute children go through an awkward phase. I was an adorable child. Curly blond hair. Bright penetrating blue eyes. An infectuous smile and giggle. The Greeks on Crete, where my Pop was stationed for the U.S. Air Force, thought I was the second coming. They would snatch me from my Ma's backpack, pass me around the crowd and holler "Christo! Christo!" I thought it was dope.

Then that gangly awkward phase hit. Some genetic anomalies never go through it. They all wind up peaking in high school anyway, so later for them. Most people suffer through it during pre-pubescence. My awkward phase could be classified as the 80's. Yep, a whole decade of, seemingly incurable, severe dorkiness.

The unsexy stick whupped my ass on the regular. Pulsing hormone's driving me horny crazy and I looked about as fuckable as a used handkerchief. Perfected the art of wagging the weasel then. A skill I am most pleased to posess now.

I think I even forced myself out of it. Decided to stop making that face my Ma said would stick permenantly. People should listen to their mothers more often. Undoubtibly most of my awkwardness was self inflicted as I was desperately trying to be normal. Trying to fit in. Luckily, my moment of clarity involved realising I don't really like any of the people I was trying to impress. So fuck em. Gonna be the kinky deviant geeky freak nutjob that I was formulated to be. Hooray.

I think I'm going through another one of those potentially weird awkward phases again. Scalp's in transistion towards the slaphead. Occasional bumps on my chest and back instead of face. I think acne never goes away it just keeps travelling south. Joints getting creakier. Metablolism taking another direction. Onset of creases around the eyes. Some desperate need to see how far I can take the beard thing. Stepping into the line for middle age preperations.

Course this time I don't give a shit if I look like I'm in the midst of transition. I find this aging stuff fascinating. It's like an experiment or a study in human progression that I get ringside seats for. Looking forward to the changes, for the slow down. See if I go even loonier. Keep the fountains of youth to yourself. I want to be affected by time, I don't want to fight it. I have enough struggles without trying to beat back the chaotic laws of nature.