Hair dripping, I decide to take a closer listen to what Ma has to say. Pop's mother broke her leg near her hip, currently in surgery. I dial St.Louis to get the down low.

They are treating her similarly to a racehorse that snaps a bone. Since she is deep in Alzheimer's she doesn't quite understand the need to not be mobile. She would continue to aggravate the wound. So she needs to be heavily sedated till the bone knits. Also, they believe she will be incapable of learning how to use a walker or cane. So, it's wheelchair mobility for the rest of her days, if she makes it out of the operating room.

It's a sad state of affairs for the old girl. Could very well be the death knell. The docs are fairly sure it's a degenerative osteopathic problem. Bad skeleton and bad brain in an octogenarian doesn't spell out a pretty story.

I'm finding it impossible to feel sympathy for her. I removed myself from her influence over a decade ago. I have no agape for her. I don't believe in instant love for blood. Family does not excuse behavior I would vilify in a stranger. She sealed her fate with me on numerous occasions.

Granted with her addled mind she hardly acts like the old battle axe she used to be. If she was miraculously healed, and her brain was returned to normal, she would undoubtibly continue her ignorant racist behavior. I'll never forgive her for calling my friends niggers, chinks, and kykes. She never made Ma feel welcome in her home. Always with the nasty digs. No one fucks with my Ma. No one. She made my sis feel like a second class citizen. I've roughed up meatheads for similar effronteries. And, unfortunately for her, she never had an epiphany out of her plantation overseer mentality before her brain went mushy.

She already died for me ages ago. It was a betrayal. She betrayed my trust. I don't give the smallest fuck whether or not she didn't "know any better". That excuse gets zero play. Fuck that.

She belongs to an outmoded group of people I have been begging to expire. If I'd like nothing more than all the Strom Thurmans and Trent Lotts of the world to melt into the soil, then it goes for those in my lineage as well. She does not get a pass. Her lifestyle and her willing contribution to the cesspool makes her a criminal in my book.

Please take that final sleep. And hopefully some new birth won't replace the ignorance hole you leave.

Mostly, I'm only worried for my folks. It's a shame that a coniving hateful person's expiration will cause them grief. Plus, it's extremely doubtful I will stomach a funeral in her name. I vowed no more funerals anyway. I'll give them a shoulder for support if they need it. I won't praise a life that devalued others strictly for their skin color. It's a personal rule I don't mean to break.