I adore the white stuff, ya mammidrillers! Snow that is. Don't get it twisted fuckers. No Peruvian marching powder in my nose canals. Actually I have a Germanic shiksa nose, so it's more like precocious air tributaries.

And......it's snowing right now! Again! More! More! More!

Absolutely gorgeous that personal vehicles are wedged, buried, completely awash with the frozen precipitation. Anyone who left their car on the street is now completely bumming out. Howling with laughter I was. That's right Jersey bitch, your ride is now a prisoner of good old New York fucking City snow.

I saw a few cars lifted up off the ground with snow that got plowed underneath them. I think that is just tops. A-one vehicular justice. I support the program that gets cars up off their wheels in suspended animation.

I was hoping the icy hammer of thor would descend upon Gotham terra firma and dump an additional two feet of winter wonderland on us. Pile it up to the eyeballs. People having to burrow to work. Or shutting down. Shut em down, shut em shut em down. Streaming tears of genuine joy tracing my cheeks as normal operations of this scumporation would screech to a halt. Ringer turned off and answering machine volume bottomed out.

I have zero problems traversing the mounds. Stuff would have to be stacked a couple stories high before I'd declare a no mobility emergency. Gives the leg muscles a great workout. Plus the oxygen is palatable, you can taste the cold sting. Tastes like clarity to me. No reason to martyr myself dragging balls to work in that kind of wonderful madnees.

The Sunday before the "Blizzard of the Century", I stocked up on supplies. Okay, before I unfurl the tales of my clever preparedness, lemme just rant a little. The day wouldn't be complete without some ranting. Easy callin anything the "Blank" of the Century. Only the third screaming year in this muthafucker. Relax with the extreme grandiose claims. Making news headlines sound like explitives. Dorks.

Anyway, called the Green Lantern Corp on Sunday. Had to restock my ring on green power. Fellow head warrior stumbled into my crib just as the offerings from Odin fell from the sky. Let my brother in arms warm his cockles by my radiant heated hearth. Enjoyed some surreptitiously programmed Hendrix on VH1 Classic. Homey set the stash settings to full potency and bounced.

Spent the winter bliss in my apartment, naked, eating canned goods and jerking off. Procured a decent selection of Progresso soups ( cause I'm an adult and shit, sorry Campbell's ), crackers of the crumbling into hot broth kind, and some Asiago cheese. Weilding the emerald plant spectrum of the latern causes cottonmouth. Fortuitously I packed the icebox with a baker's dozen of Volvic bottled water.

I am giddy. Like mad silly. I am no doubt affected somewhat. Figure out by what on your own. The clouds could drop pounds more ass on the streets, and I would crack a bigger smile.

Holy fuckgourd I adore the snow.

Oh, a business type note. The layout is under construction. Trying to make all you crazy faithfuls happy. So chew on the frills-free Dland template for the nonce. Peeps are on the case. Ya dig?