Wednesday of the Sixteenth in the month of April retrofitted: Yeah, yeah, but I find it funny, so shaddup and read.

While checking out a Chuck Close painting in the modern art section on the third floor I felt a rumble in the jungle. Bowels were shrieking. The tomato bisque I had in the museum cafe for lunch was making room at a speedy clip. I needed toilet time quick.

Asked one of the security guards where the nearest john was. Ratfink! One floor down. Shuffled down the steps with a sphincter clenching funny walk.

Hussled into the crapper. Noticed the stall next to mine was occupied. Looked at the shoes, and it looked like my brother in law's sneakers. He made a distinctive signature sniffle and I knew it was him. I was in the handicap stall which made it much wider, and he was unable to see my feet. I didn't acknowledge him, as that's kind of a weird moment, and might as well have left him thinking it was a random stranger dropping trou next door.

So, I unleash a super explosive liquified dump. The kind where it sounds like your pouring a whole kettle full of stew from five feet above. The kind where you can just imagine by noise alone how foul it was. It made my intestines quiver and my face wrench up.

Immediately afterwards my sis' husband lets out this combination sigh grunt. He was not happy about the unfun odors that would probably escape from a poo storm like that.

Desperately I was trying to hold in laughter. I had to squeeze my palm around my mouth, and even then slight titters escaped. The woeful response he made kept replaying in mind. I kept imagining his face, and I couldn't stop the diaphragm spasming giggle jerks. I'm uncontrolably snickering now thinking about it. The minute he left the room I let go and had a cackling laughing fit to the point of tears. Would have definitely disturbed anyone else who wandered in there.

It was difficult to look him in the eye the rest of the day. Part of me wonders if he had any idea that it was me. Would be an interesting bedtime discussion between he and my sis. "Your brother's got a bazooka rectum".