I have always wanted to skydive. I am getting a chubby just thinking about it. Fuck bungee, fuck roller coasters. Plumetting to the earth at ungodly speeds is what I need. I will definitely record the experience here.

The weekend after that I have a internet technology conference in Atlantic City, the place to go when you feel less than human and want to hang with your own kind. So I'll be elated all week to a crescendo of shit in Atlantic City. Hooray. I'll learn alot of new geek stuff, which I'm actually looking forward to. Cause I am big geek.

In between falling out of the sky and geeking out I got a gig doing some comedy skits at this sex comedy fest. I'm playing a gay robot. Not gay for men gay, but gay for other robots gay. See robots don't have gender, no matter what they look like. I am robocowboy speciality multiple deep penetrations. Me and my friend Lou (robo-officer speciality kick fuck mode), wind up making out robotically on stage. Get your servos all hot. I'll try and remember to report on that as well. We've performed it before with rave reviews, so I ain't worried.

By the way, does anyone else think the olympics are the most boring yet hyped up thing ever. Hey did you hear they're running this year again. It might be worth watching if rabid pit bulls were chasing after them. Here's how to make it exciting. All athletes involved in water events must be naked. Any event where the athlete has to jump over something hurdles, pole vault, high jump, etc there should be a pool of molten metal underneath or ravenous crocodiles. All horse events - the horse should be given a dose of LSD. Turn all the gymnasts into blade weilding acrobatic ninjas from hell, and they get scored on how Jackie Chan they are. In basketball any time the americans are playing the other team should be allowed to kick them once really hard in the shins (I know what you wanted me to say and ouch, that is just wrong my friend). The triathalon should be running, bicycling and then orgiastic sport fucking, complete with helmet cams. Ballroom dancing, ok ballroom dancing for fucks sake needs to just get outta there, not a sport. Volleyball, well that can stay the way it is cause those peeps are hot. I love a sport you can masturbate to. Did you see the Brazillian women with the shorts that continually moved north. Shotputs should be filled with concusive exploding liquid. Rush Limbaugh should be made to aimlessly roam the javelin field. And fill in the rest with more fist to jaw action.