One cabbie made the entire ride home an infomercial for his music compositions. He put it on, sitar laden classical Indian trance. It was okay, little repetitive. Kept telling me how the tape "very very cheap". By the way the article in the onion about the teen caught playing air sitar was a gut buster. At the end of the ride he held onto my cash trying to make me buy one of his cds. It wasn't until I got pissed that he let me have my change.

Another one recently wanted me to recommend him for a computer job. He said that he cornered one of the H&R ladies that works at my office in his cab and that all she would say was to check out our website. I told him to check out our website as I threw him the fare.

Couple years ago I had to convince a Russian cab driver not to kill himself. He wanted me to assure him that god loves him. Wrong guy to talk to. I told him that its okay if he wants to believe in god, but I think its all smoke and mirrors. The reasons I wouldn't kill myself is because there are loved ones who would be devasted (been there don't like how it feels), there's probably only one shot at existence - why end it prematurely, and wonderful or terrible, life is an experience that should be savored. I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. We talked for close to an hour parked outside of my apartment. He seemed better off and thanked me. I had a sick fantasy of his cab exploding half way down the block.

The craziest experience in a cab had to be with this Chinese guy. We're coming off the FDR, and he cuts off a chrysler as he gets off the ramp. The cut off car races in front of us and an undercover cop hops out. He knocks on the cabbie's window, who just stares straight ahead, and automatically locks all the doors. He immediately takes off down the street at breakneck speeds. He won't stop and he won't let me out. Every time they try and block his way he veers off the road to get away. He knocks over a mail box. He goes through oncoming traffic. He races down the sidewalk with people vaulting out of the way. Turns here, turns there, and eventually loses the cops. I'm spinning. Magically he comes to a screaching halt and he's made it to my desired location. He unlocks the doors, and I bolt. I can hear him screaming that I didn't pay.