I also wonder what it would be like if a terrorist group took over the train. Everyone wearing mostly black would be spared. Anyone wearing pastels would be tortured on the spot. Hopefully they would be able to sniff out the cool people. The ones that won't rat em out. Course they probably would think I was some kind of tough guy, and break my nose with the butt of their gun, just to keep me in line. Some reason strangers tend to view me as trouble, like I could snap at any time. What I would do is beat the living crap out of the first passenger that gave them any resistance. That cowboy, gonna save the day shit, just gets innocent onlookers shot up. They would see that I know the schedule. And when it came time to execute one of the hostages they would ask me to pick. It would have to be the fuckers who don't know how to get out of the way when your entering the train. Or the retarded teens that decide that everyone wants to hear who kissed who, or who slapped who. Shut your cake hole. Blam. Hopefully there would be somebody on the train that I know deserves to be offed. Like that skinny goat fucking ex-boss of mine from Stinko's. I'd ask to pull the trigger on that one.

Maybe the train would stall. And a pocket of ultra potent pheremone gas from a fissure in the bedrock would infiltrate the compartment. All it would take is a brief eye lock and then you start ripping each other's clothes off. There is usually at least four or five chicks on the train I would bang. So this wouldn't be a dilema for me. One big sweaty, ugly, oinking orgy. Train would pull up to the next stop, body fluids flying out of the open doors. Crowded platform of people who've been waiting ages for the train get coated in love jelly.

I've often wished I carried around a little pair of metal snippers. That way when someone on the train is doing something annoying. Like banging their bag against my back, or talking egregiously loud first thing in the a.m., or not getting out of the way, or playing awful music so the whole train has to hear, or deciding to try and convert the masses to christianity. I could take the snippers and just clip the cartilage of their ear. I would explain why I did it, so they wouldn't get clipped in the future. And if they complain I would clip their nose, and ask if they want me to find more tissue for me to expose.

I'd like to see the trains develop into a more techno-organic organism. The tunnels should be the vessels of a great creature. Each stop would be like a waste disposal node for its body. The trains could be shaped like suppossitories. And the tunnels would be lined with sphincters that would push the trains along its self lubricating passageways. It could feed off the heat and carbon monoxide we give off, osmosed through the semipermeable shell of the cars. So that the more people it passed through it's innards the more satisfied it would be. Nice gentle and smooth ride. And we develop the creature to emit pleasant scents through glands along the walls of the stations. I would also try to have the creature secrete a psycotropic by-product. Pick little fun berries off of the subway terminal's walls to make your ride a trippy one.