At least I got a blowjob. Would have gone further but in my non sleep stupor out of my apartment I forgot my rubbers. I have already punished myself for that. But there was no way I was sticking my naked willy into some wild Texas filly. Last night there, my cousin the bride, threw her reception at this club called the Red Jacket. The place was stocked with skinny blonde loose women, out numbering us cowboys nine to one - no fucking exageration. There were three bachelorette parties going on there. One girl grabbed me, dragged me onto the dance floor and demanded that I rub my crotch on her soon to be married friend. I heightened my New York accent, talking like an extra from the Sopranos. They ate it up. Wrangled in one of them, went back to her place, had a little slap and tickle, and then she drove me back to my hotel just in time for me to pack and leave purgatory behind.

The wedding ceremony was short and sweet. The groom's men were posing with high powered rifles and machine guns with obscenely large banana clips on them. Attracted the attention from the cops, who monitored the entire affair to it's glorious end. I smuggled a vodka on the rocks past him as I departed. There weren't any single women there that looked either hungry for cock, or attractive enough to arouse me even with vodka swimming through my veins. Plenty of the married chicks were flirty though, very telling of the populace.

Did have a fairly enjoyable time at the horse races. Wound up being thirty bucks up at the end of the day. Couple of my picks hit perfectly with decent odds. Course I drank as much Miller as possible and ended up spilling one on my uncle's father's shoes. Actually I think I remained inebriated for three days straight. Open bar at the wedding, beers at people's houses, open bar at the reception club, wine flowing at the rehearsal dinner, lots of beer at the track. My family is much easier to deal with through liquored eyes and emotions.

Texas is a place that I shall never call home. No matter how many wild and loose blondes you throw my way.