Conversation I just had ended up with me saying "You got your pussy in my drugs, you got your drugs in my pussy. Two great tastes that go great together. Spanklin's pussybuttercups." Don't ask why, it will only cause cranial damage.

Name of my biography: "Drunk Since Twelve, Livin in the Land of Bullshit." First line: Names and places may have been changed to protect me, fuck the innocent. I'll sell it along with a bottle of spanklin essence. Trust me, you need this product.

I must punish myself for having no faith in Philly to beat L.A. in the playoffs. Amazing fucking game last night. Iverson is a basketball surgeon. I loved seeing the hurt expressions on Shaq and Kobe's face when they lost in OT. I actually got a chub on. I am streaming all of my sport watching energies into the Sixers. I hope they put the slap down so hard that California snaps off into the Pacific. In the immortal words of Kurtis Blow - Basketball is my favorite sport, I love the way they dribble up and down the court. You must imagine the bass beats and turntabulism on your own.