Customer: I need a thousand copies of this in ten minutes so I can make the FedEx dealine.

Me: I'm sorry thats not possible, we can have it ready in two hours.

Customer: Thats not acceptible I need this now. You have to do it for me.

Me: Unfortunately, we are backed up with other customer's jobs, and I don't think they would appreciate it if we bumped their order for yours.

Customer: But you have to. If this doesn't go out in time I'll lose my job.

Me: Well then might I suggest you investigate our wide range of resume services.

Just so you know, the fact that you left a career defining project to the absolute last minute does not give you the right to impose panic in the hearts of others. As a matter of fact, the community of workers in the service industry will think its funny and laugh at you amongst themselves after you storm away pissed off. You can tell your boss it was our fault if you want. I'm sure your next performance review will have a note saying "Couldn't effectivelty accomplish goals and tasks because the world is unfair and people are mean, this individual should be given as many breaks as possible."

Speaking of diligent workers. Upon arriving at my front door after a bud fest on my friends roof last night, I encountered a spider. My face brushed up against him. This only made him frantically climb his strand of webbing faster. It looked as if he had fallen from the fire escape, but had a safety cord attached to himself in case he fumbled. He was cool looking, almost transparent. Watching his legs gather up the string into a ball behind him as he climbed up was calming. Nice bit of arachnid appreciation. After watching him ascend back up, I actually danced my way to the elevator.