Also in the firsts category, I had my first improv comedy performance on Saturday at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater. Went well, even though Billy (our improv master) cut me off three times before I could edge a word out. Crowd loved it. I cursed him and his family. Second level classes start soon with another performance slated at the end. And after I complete level three they'll let me audition for the theater, to be on an improv team that performs three or four nights a week there. Woo hoo.

Report on the insanity brewing in my cranium. Still methodically increasing. No dramatic leaps of crazy, but I can see that straight jacket at the end of the tunnel. Luckily for the general populace I do not believe that I'll go Hannibal Lechter crazy. As much as I despise you humans, and have plotted many of your deaths in my dreams and fantasies, I would never carry that out. I won't do anything that will help you prosper. No signing up for a CPR class for me. I'd give my pocket change to a stray mutt, but not to some homeless idiot. I may even become a homeless idiot, and I still wouldn't give myself any charity. So, will I scalp you and wipe my ass with your hair? No. Will I push you out of the way of that oncoming bus? No.

Also my penis isn't meeting enough vaginas. And the little rascal is giving me a hard time about it.