My sex drive is hosed. I have yet to even masturbate since last Tuesday. Hermitized inside my apartment. Avoiding phone calls, invitations to socialize. Breif glimpses here and there of amorous thought quickly fade.

I've got this urge to join the Marines. Become a jar head killing machine. Rip the bastards veins out with my teeth. Disentegrate their families. One giant ballisic cock going right up their collective ass.

I've had my home violated. And I'm not referring to the nation wide sentiment of this attack on "us". It feels as if someone broke down my front door, smacked me around and forced themselves on me. Its personal. Please don't try and empathise or understand if your not here. Not trying to diminish the come togetheredness that America is forming, we'll need that in order to strike back. But as much as you think you can imagine someone defiling your city, you just can't unless you are here.

We got the biggest dick. We need to pull it out and use it. Fuck perceptions of who started what. Fuck diplomatic relations. Who cares if there is international finger wagging. Fuck em. If there are nations and/or groups of people whose deepest desire is to see the United States degraded to an ash heap, then lets take out our record setting cock, and split them in two with it. Make a list, shut em down for good, occupy their lands, and divvy em up. Fucking give Iraq to Saudi Arabia. Give Afganistan to India. Tell fucking Cuba that they just became the fifty first state. All of them, done.

I continued on my improv theater work this weekend. I finally today braved my way down into the subway. I still bought my falaffel at the Middle Eastern restaurant around the block, and had a usual pleasant conversation with it's proprietors. I'm still coming into this shit hole to pay the rent. They haven't defeated me. But they fucking twisted me. And I'm pissed. Can't tell if my tears come from anger or from despair. But I'll use them for my own benefit either way.