So one persistent crackpot idea surfaced during my rigid sojourns.

Medicated bedsheets. Wrap yourself in the healing power of hundred percent cotton tinctured linens. Rash? Calamine lotion sheets. Been walking through tall sharp grassfields in shorts, or playing with a troth of glass shards? Neosporin sheets. Attempted to keep up with a college soccer team? Bengay sheets. One too many blunts generating egregious amounts of lung clams? Mentholated sheets.

Course I would go nuts and want methylenedioxy methylamphetamine sheets with lysergic acid diethylamide pillow cases. Manageable psychedlic levels would be adhered to and properly monitored.