You can definitely gauge the echelon of someone's intellect by how seriously they take April fool's day. Oh your calling me from your cell phone even though you are in the same room as me? Guffaw guffaw, chuckle smirk, groan. There's somebody waiting for me in the lobby? Why what a clever ruse, we shall laugh heartily for at least a fortnight on your supreme jest, surely you are a devastatingly dastardly scamp among men.

Got measured today for my tux. Ugh. It's bad enough I'm in the main cast of the wedding, but I gotta look like a penguin to boot. Hopefully, I will snap out of whatever mutant kung-fu battle daydream I will be having to deter my brain from making any snide remarks during the vows, so that when cued, I can hand off the ring to the dead man walking. She really has series of color coded chains connected to his balls. I've never heard as many "Oh, um, no man I can't do that cause she......." bailing flake statements in my life. I truly hope she's making him happy when they are alone. As it stands, I'm viewing my best man duties as if I was just commissioned by the bureau to eliminate a rogue agent, who just happens to be my best homie.

Solemnly and silently I will send him off to his purgatory. Then I will get off my face drunker than three dwarf Swedish sailors on shore leave in Vegas. Hopefully, I will cause a scandal when the betrothed's mother walks in on me schtupping a bridesmaid in the coat check.