Grrrrrrr, ignoble bastards. I hope he is murdered in his sleep by his children with heavy farming machinery.

I warned that once the grumpy spanky floodgates were opened on a subject it is nigh impossible to halt them. The hammer of Thor attempting to beat back the forward progress of the Juggernaut.

So, I am gonna delve into the newest "idea" notebook I have been unleashing my insanity in. Just will read one idea, and then type it, one after another and comment on it, if I feel comfy with cluing you in on that particular mind gem, until I tire of this. Brace yo'self fool, for the self serving proliferations of my own creative ego.

Faces don't get any prettier in flourescent light. Alas tis true. Nothing will highlight the bufugly nature of someone's facia more so than flourescent lighting. Unnaturally hightens discoloration and blemishes that don't add "character". Even beer goggles lose their enchantments in the buzzing rays of flourescent lights.

I wonder if more Nazi's exist in the States than any other nation? Kind of an open faced sandwich question. Just seems we hold a bounty on dickbrain racist backwater idiots.

People worry about big white boys with a crazy beard. Since this comment I have trimmed back the whiskers some. At the time my cheeks were wildman scruffy and the goatee section was long and curly like some bacchanal beast. Remember leaving the house stoned out my face. Eyes blazing red so that my emerald irises popped out at ya. Ginger coated face transient looking. No need to apologise for doubletakes and clutching of purses.

"Ducks are kinda fucking weird". Can't recall where I heard that quote. Made a chuckle escape. Admittedly waterfowl are generally strange nature candy.

The world at large does not need to see any porno starring me. This is irrevocably true. I wouldn't be opposed to coverage of the facial expressions of the ladies I set my deviant machinations on. Just don't think an abundance of reflective pale skin moving with the finesse of a spastic monkey would be beneficial. And I don't even want to get into the weirdos that would actually get moist from watching me.

"Between those two thorns is Doctor Horseknuckle. A checkerupper of sorts." This came from some old newsreel footage they show in between movies on TCM. As much as I dislike Ted Turner for selfishly grabbing the rights to vast catalogues of movies and then colorising them, TCM shows quality flicks in their unfettered unedited state. So I watch that channel on occasion. Plus that quote will just make you giggle if you say it out loud in an announcery styled voice.

Highlights and High Times magazines. They purport to be run by two seperate entities, yet they both make stoners giggle when riding the green lantern wave. Also they both have "high" in their title. Coincidence?

Your bday is not an excuse to be a complete prick or gash. This was in response to watching Kelly Osbourne act like a serious cunt to her mother on her birthday. Constantly screeching "it's my birthday!" as an excuse for her behavior. The mark left on your face would be just as glowing crimson after I backhand you, regardless of whether it is the date of your birth.

Oxygen bars. Seems highly silly. Course I don't live in a town with a ceiling of smog over it. Sounds like a nasty portence of things to come.

How about all those satelites and other orbiters we've launched above our stratosphere? There is a whole bunch of junk floating up there. Circling the planet. Laws of gravity demand that it will have to plummet to the earth one day. Imagining increasing reports of shuttle flotsam winding up in the middle of the Sunday family dinner table.

I don't trust anyone with a comb over. Don't care what nationality or what group they are reporting to represent. Don't care about credentials. If I see some baldphobic unsuccessfully massage his manhood with a comb over I immediately assign him to the spanky part of hell. Fucking comb overs.

Don't forget the Free Ballin song. This was to remind me I have been orchestrating a spoof of the Tom Petty song "Free Fallin". All about letting the yambag dangle unhindered from underpants restrictions. If I see Weird Al on MTV doing Free Ballin or Livin La Vida Polka, I will be furious.

"The books are infected, buuuuuurn them!" Thought it would make a funny, in the face of liberal and bible bangers alike, to have a comedy sketch based around the idea that books across the country have literally become fatal to people's health. So massive book burnings across the country take place. And then at the end it is discovered it wasn't the books at all but the pricetags affixed to them, or some other red herring type device. And then it is decided by eveyone that it doesn't really matter. I'm fucked in the head.

I don't need gems. It's true I don't.