I imagine to round up a full jar of ears would take some time. Hence, giving me some breathing room in determining how to get myself out of situation where I am holding people hostage. Unless there is a clever cop out there who rustles up a jar of pickled pig's ears and fulfills the first no death to innocents demands.

I don't really believe the whole negotiator cop genre of movies, and don't believe that a bunch of oinkers would be that clever. Probably scramble around the morgues looking for loose ears.

They may just take it as a crazy person's delirium or arch villain style joke. So I would have to very publicly, i.e. in plain sight of news cameras, execute a hostage after I didn't get a jar full of ears.

Could completely backfire on me. I mean they'd undoubtibly theorise that I was a loon about to snap if I held up a crowd of chumps minding their business, putting their lives on the line for a jar full of ears. Might send in the special feds unit for loonie capture. Definitely would generate a cap the madman's skull back once in rifle sites scenario.

I can't imagine a secondary request of unmarked cash and a jet to Aruba would be so difficult after I wetted some stranger cause I didn't get my jar full of ears.

This whole dangerous criminal fantasy of mine was sparked at the theater today. Digging my fingers into the armrests trying not to explode at the couple having a conversation during the whole entire run of Identity. They just got worse after I told them to shut the fuck up. And even more so after a simpleton valet worker person asked them to quiet down too at my request. Soon as he left they began personal taunts in my direction. Plateletes boiling.

Only four people in the theater. An old bald Asian man who sat near the front in an aisle seat, quietly passing an hour and a half. And then these two idiotic no respect for anyone else Black people carrying on like they were in their own livingroom getting fucked up on Hennessey. Sorry bout this, and you may wanna revoke my ghetto pass afterwards, but some Black folks don't know how to act. No home training. You want people to stop responding to you like you were animals? Why not stop acting like a rabid beast that just escaped the zoo.

No wonder Chris Rock dedicated a whole part of his first HBO stand-up special to announcing that he hates niggers. Seriously though, I think the Black culture in this country is beautiful and deep. I owe much of my own personal growth to the Black nation. A debt I hope to repay when I can. But ya'll need to take care of your peeps that are marring your face up. On the farilla homies, reign that shit in.

So yeah I wanted to smush a couple of faces in at the theater. And thought demanding a jar full of ears might get me a pass. I will try and breath deeply the rest of the afternoon.