Not predicting a trip to the grey bar hotel for myself. Where capital punishment exists, the possibilty for anyone to perish at the hands of the judicial system exists. Made even more disturbingly possible with faulty legal proceedings sending innocents to jail. Might as well give thought to how ya wanna go out just in case.

Also in revelation central, I have determined that tobacco is rectangular while pot is circular. Rolling epiphany. I mean as long as one can picture rolling a bunch of circles, twisting a lantern shouldn't be that difficult. Sure, it's easier to wrap up right angled strips of leaf in paper. Much more satisfying to create a splendiferous spliff than an ordinary old cigarette. I prefer being circular.

Hmph, that reminds me of a mental list that simmered me to sleep last night. Usual striating of the brain noise on the dark ceiling above my bed. The voices must at least have a majority consensus on slumber. Gotta get the head parliament in one visual plane to study their countenance. If most of them are peaceful, the sheets won't be as problematic.

Anyway, the aforementioned list. Beginning to chafe my nipples that others slough off my earnest claims of wishing for eternal offspring free bachelorhood. I've been living with this set of freak impulses for over thirty years now. I am the reigning expert on my desires.

So, here comes the litany. For official posterity sake. The spank list of antimatrimony reasons will be unleashed now.

A. I am a stoner. No plans on retiring from the Green Lantern Corps anytime, if ever. I put the pipe away during productive times. Hardly about to rage on stage baked. Being spliffed on the mic might accidentally be amusing, but it should never be par for the course. I absolutely would never give it up for a kid. Certainly not for a female either. Toss demonising vomit my way all ya want. Me and Herb Bowler will always be pals.

B. Making love just ain't in my repertoire. My heart isn't so coal black that I can't feel love for someone. As much smoke as I dust up, I am a fairly sensitive fella. However, I am incapable of peering deeply in some chick's eyes while cherishingly sliding in and out of them. Sex and love are seperate exhibits in my zoo. I think we've been hoodwinked. Even if the bells ring and the mount on high sings a sonnet, once the hormones kick in it's all about primal urges. Too much daytime television and glass slipper fairy tales has tainted you ladies. Insisting fucking is the greatest expression of love just gets in the way of outstanding knee rattling creamy sex.

C. I am an alpha class freak. Possibly self incendiary, but I adore the healthy pie slice of me that is freak. I desperately attempted to squash the freak in me when I was a kid. Nearly killed me. When looking in the mirror, if I don't accept that crazy bastard staring back at me, reasons for continuing on hold no water. Any kid with me as their pop, well, they would just have a miserable time of it often. I can't handle that.

D. I don't trust humanity. Forget trust for a second, I plain old despise most of you humans. Simply must read a casual sampling of this journal opus to see the evidence of that. The future you people are creating is nothing I want to bring innocent little ones into. Keep the "what if your kid is the savior" buzzing out my ears. How many saviors have we locked up in dungeons? Yeah, fuck you humans.

E. Slacker. Major. Slackerian Majorus. The very first instance of nagging on this subject, and I am done. Seriously. I annoy myself plenty. Zero desire to hire on some extra boxing gloves to beat me up about it.

F. I am a self styled artist. Hardly anything is more important to me than writing, drawing, and unleashing my brain on stage. I'll wear the selfish badge. A family would always play second fiddle to my artistic desires. Has to be that way. If not I'd wind up bouncing off the walls of an asylum. My own mental peace is far more important to me than anyone else's feelings or needs. Any woman or child would learn quickly the concubine nature I would assign to them in faithfulness to my creativity.

G. I am a cranky asshole. The rage switch is flipped often. Mr Ranty pokes his head out of the bag quickly upon the slightest insult to my intelligence or common sensibilities. Not really concerned about the hurt feelings that might result from it. As far as I'm concerened, you shed tears after I scathingly point out something retarded you've done, that's something you deservedly gotta wrestle with.

H. I might be dangerous. I'm not content to sit at home in my cardigan and slippers, politely discussing the days events. The prepackaged suburban life is something I want to see destroyed. I will always bare fangs against religion and politics. I will not lead a life that is federally prescribed. I will bite anyone that tries to put a choke collar on me, even the hand that feeds me. I reject the modern constructs of society that most of the world seems to want prospered. I have been, and most assuredly will be, targetted for my beliefs. A situation I quite firmly have accepted. Anyone think it would be fair to foist this life on a child?

Ah the reasons could disappear over the curvature of the earth. Decent enough sampling I believe to support my argument.

A last clarification before the grand egress. While I don't seek a long term relationship by any means, I am not opposed to it. The lady has just gotta know that I'll never slide on a ring. And, if it accidentally happens that my tadpoles hatch an egg, and the decision of the woman is to have the baby, I would do what I could to be the best pop within my capabilities. Course, that is stated with vasectomy brochures piling up around me.